Congressman Jason Chaffetz asks, "what does it take to get fired from the Secret Service?" Here's a Top Ten list:
10) If, during an Inauguration, an agent wrestled the Chief Justice to the ground.
9) If an agent goes to work without his seeing eye dog.
8) If an agent needs a designated driver while going to a party.
7) if an agent ever used the president as a shield.
6) if his nickname in high school was "butthead".
5) if, when faced with a problem, the agent asked himself, "What would Laurel & Hardy do?"
4) If an agent ever paid a prostitute with his class ring from West Point.
3) If the agent was ever ejected from his church choir for singing, "99 bottles of beer on the wall".
2) if the agent ever returned fire at a 21-gun salute.
1) if the agent was ever caught listening to iTunes on his earpiece.