President Obama's State of the Union address had a clear theme: The Democrats won the midterm election.
As Biden and the Democrats performed the festive rite of bobbing up and down, Boehner and the Republicans had to send out for more glue to put on their seats.
Practically nothing could bring John Boehner to his feet -- calls for equal pay for women, curing cancer, child care or sick leave. This old dog was trained by the Tea Party: "Sit".
Delivering the Republican response, freshman senator Joni Ernst channeled Charles Dickens as she recalled having to wear bread bags on her feet as a child. This was the only comedy relief of the entire evening.
Earlier in the day, wiser council came from Rome when Pope Francis admonished Catholics to "stop breeding like rabbits". In Ireland alone, thousands of women and rabbits said, "now he tells us."
They may revert to the Vatican-approved birth control: two Saint Joseph aspirin between the knees.