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  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen
  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds.  I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website.  We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing.  Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing.    I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.    

It turned out to be a perfect night.   My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time.    They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.   A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

Latest Jokes

At this writing, the red-hot Washington Nationals are seven-and-a-half games ahead of the second place Atlanta Braves. This is the first time Washington has had anything to cheer about since Congressman Eric Cantor was thrown out of the game.

Definition of irony: A Braves fan doing that goofy tomahawk chop while complaining about how offensive the name "Washington Redskins" is.

Incidentally, there will be a name change regarding DC's football team. They will soon be playing in Wounded Knee Stadium.

How long has it been since a Washington baseball team has had this smashing a record? Let's see. The president was Herbert Hoover, alcohol was illegal and Larry King was in Little League.

What a month! Were it not for Rick Perry's indictment, there would be no laughs at all.

Any day now there will be a USO show sent to entertain the troops in Ferguson, Missouri.

See the swaggering reporters overusing the expression "on the ground" in Ferguson. I am on the couch and unimpressed.

I would feel better about the situation if the governor of Missouri was not named Nixon.

As I understand it -- the cop who shot Michael Brown was on jury duty, right?

Following the first two autopsies, President Obama has ordered another. Oh, no -- now John McCain will want one.

The indictment of Texas Governor Rick Perry is overdue. He should have been charged with criminal incompetence during the 2012 debates.

Perry threatened a district attorney who was investigating corruption. In Texas corruption is more common a word than oil, cattle or lethal injection.

A little known word in Texas is chutzpah. Which is what Perry will have if he tries running for president again.

Which brings to mind the old joke about two inmates in the mess hall of a state prison. One says "the food was better here when you were governor."

We're back in Iraq for old times sake.It's Obama's turn to make the same mistakes. He's under fire from the enemy, John McCain, Lindsay Graham and Hillary.

Hillary knocked Obama's simplistic foreign policy rule: Don't do stupid stuff." He seems to have achieved the eloquence of his professor.

And this from an article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine: Republicans find libertarians convenient whenever they want  to score some coke.

I'm having trouble keeping track of the enemy leader du jour -- the latest bearded thug having four hyphens in his name: Hassook Massook -- Hay Baba --  Reebop -- Wadi Wadi, whatever.

I remember what I was doing August 8, 1974. I was crying. Nixon had just announced his resignation which meant that I had to go back to writing my own material.

A group of my fellow revelers in Nixon's travails gathered in front of a non-flat TV screen gleefully anticipating our punching bag's resignation speech.  When it was over there was nary a whoop nor a high five. Instantly sober, we put down our glasses and quietly left.

To the nation, the resignation marked the end of a long Watergate nightmare. For me, it was the end of Mardi Gras, Christmas and my youth.

Forty years later, I barely remember the Watergate jokes. You had to be there. Today, there are similarities to 1974: a 10 year long war is winding down, there are shrill cries to impeach a president and bringing up his name in a bar is a good way to start a fight.

Fifty thousand children walked across the border and without hesitation, Congress said, "we'll get to it as soon as we come back" from their ill-deserved vacation.

 

Congress taking the month of August off

Doing nothing must be tough.

Before they return let us ask ourselves

Will one month be enough? 

 

For their vacation, I'd like to see them go

To Ukraine or the Gaza Strip.

Syria is lovely this time of year

And make it a one-way trip.

 

But they will be back with their usual attacks

Oh, it's going to be even drearier.

For the daily stump speech

Shouting, "We must impeach!"

While kissing the Tea Party's posterior.

It has been several days without an impeachment charge against Obama. Somebody should check and see if the wacko-birds are feeling all right.

Bulletin:  Israeli bombs accidentally kill Gaza militants.

Children in Gaza must be gotten out of there and sent to the relative safety of Mexico.

I see where Egypt is trying to broker a cease fire in Gaza. Egypt? Not exactly Brigadoon. Oh - the Nile.

Flights to Israel have been cancelled. Netanyahu asks would-be tourists to please send the money.

We keep spying on Germany. Or, as my generation calls it -- nostalgia.

Our head spy in Berlin has been thrown out of the country and another of our secret agents in Germany has been arrested. This is getting creepy. I've seen this movie before.

What's next? Down in Casablanca Rick won't give the letters of transfer to Ilsa and there's gambling going on? Rick yells at Sam for playing "As Time Goes By" and gets drunk?

Maybe Rick and Ilsa had a baby who grew up to be German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

Look how Germany just devastated Brazil. Where next -- Poland?  

 

 

Former New Orleans mayor, Ray Nagin, was sentenced to 10 years for conduct typical of a mayor -- the usual fraud, bribes, etc.

Officials of a New York Catholic church are distressed that their church is located on the newly named "George Carlin Way". An exorcist may be called in to cast out the demon street sign.

Today's impeachable offense by Obama: asking for $4 billion to process the children who poured in from Central America. Republican solution: leave every child behind.

That's 55 thousand unwanted children. I didn't know Hobby Lobby was in Central America.

 

The 2016 Republican National Convention will be held in the formerly maligned city of Cleveland. Which currently maligned candidate will they pick?

Cleveland still has time to eradicate the goofy stereotype logo of the Cleveland Indians ball team "Chief Wahoo". (Cue the tom toms).

Or, the feathered and painted Chief Wahoo could greet the Republican delegates arriving with much wampum.

We can imagine how excited Cleveland must be in anticipating it's good fortune. After all, in 1980 the Republicans met in Detroit and look how well that turned out.