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  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen
  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds.  I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website.  We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing.  Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing.    I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.    

It turned out to be a perfect night.   My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time.    They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.   A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

Latest Jokes

New Trump inspired tee shirt slogans:

"Klan Lives Matter"

"Put Robert E Lee statue in front of the White House where it seems to belong"

"Avenge September 11 -- Bomb Venezuela"
Tough words from Trump: "They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen." Was he threatening North Korea or the media?

Like the world has never seen? Who is going to tell him about World War II?

Trump v Kim: Eyeball to eyeball or screwball to screwball? Take your pick.

Kim Jong Screwball's rebuttal: "The US will be catapulted into an unimaginable ring of fire." Which is what the November election felt like.
House Republicans and Democrats have founded the "Problem Solving Caucus". Problem solvers? Are we talking about the same Congress?

Usually when a member crosses the partisan dividing aisle, he or she is patted down.

The first order of business in the Problem Solving Caucus is to learn the words to "Kumbaya".

One of the problems to be solved is getting rid of Nancy Pelosi. One party is obviously in favor and so are the Republicans.
Ding Dong, the Mooch is gone.
The Mooch is gone, the Mooch is gone.
Just as I wrote a Scaramucci  song
He wound up under the bus.

That's how it goes in Trumpland. Scaramucci has his 15 minutes of slime.

Actually, 10 days. That's all Scaramucci lasted. It takes longer than that for milk to curdle.

It should take more time for White House staffers to become seasoned in their jobs and learn the ropes before being strung up by them.
President Trump: "If I knew Jeff Sessions was going to recuse himself, I never would have appointed him1"
Translation: "If I knew Jeff Sessions was going to be honest, I never would have appointed him."

Trump bans transgender people from the military. Would he have banned General James Mattis had he been born Jane Mattis?

At last! A debate on healthcare. Which will be followed by statehood for New Jersey. 
Looks like the Trump family rolodex contains more Russian names than the Bolshoi Ballet.

Irony of our time: Blue collar auto workers looked at a man who probably never had to drive a car in his life and said, "he's one of us."

We are between Congress' Fourth of July recess and its August recess. They hope to pass a health care bill in time to go home and apologize for it.
Well, I'm glad that's settled. After pretending to argue, Trump and Putin agreed that Russia did not meddle in our Election. If they had, Hillary might have lost.

Meanwhile, Trump sent Ivanka to attend the main conference of world leaders. It must have been Take Your Daughter to Work day.

The North Koreans bring to mind Sarah Palin. They can see Alaska from their missile sites.

Hurray -- we have stamped out heroin -- the word, that is. The media has replaced it with the sanitized word, opiates.

Suburban white kids are on opiates. In the ghettos, it's heroin.
It was nice to see the First Family relaxing at Camp Mara-Lago-David.

As the president delegates the wars to the military, he may promote Jared Kushner from son-in-law to general.

Congress "toning down the rhetoric" following the baseball shooting reminds me of a Christmas cease  fire. By New Years, it's "lock and load".

If love of country was measured by the size of their flags, car dealers would be the most patriotic Americans -- singing "America the Beautiful" while turning back speedometers.
The president's trip is going well. Visiting five coutries, he now knows where those countries are.

Perfect timing. President Trump overseas, seeking forgiveness from the three major religions for his cruel budget back home.

In Jerusalem wearing his "Make America Great" yarmulke, he stood reverently at the Western Wall and prayed that no Mexicans would ever get past it.

With impressive insight, he revealed that "the Israeli's want peace and the Palestinians want peace." No need for further depth, the Nobel Prize awaits.

Quotes of the Week:

"I get great intel. When you're famous, they let you have it."

"Jim, I hope you can see your way clear to not writing anything down when you leave."

"No big deal. No there there. That's just the way he talks." Right. He speaks fluent buffoon.

If this isn't Watergate, why is our long national nightmare just beginning?