• Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen
  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds.  I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website.  We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing.  Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing.    I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.    

It turned out to be a perfect night.   My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time.    They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.   A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

Latest Jokes

I admire the pope. Too bad the Republicans don't have one.

Pope Francis's encyclical on the environment answers to a higher power: Al Gore.

Guy goes to confession and says, "Father I had three children from three extra-marital affairs.  And I don't recycle."
The priest says, "my son, it is never too late to recycle."

Donald Trump's announcement is good news for America. When he's that full of himself he could explode -- an unlimited source of natural gas without fracking.

Let's assume, just for the moment, that the election will narrow down to Jeb vs Hillary. Hillary, the wife of Bill, who beat her opponent's father, George HW. She would run against the man whose brother, George W beat her husband's vice president, Al Gore. The election was determined by a disputed vote count in Florida whose governor was Jeb.

And they say Europeans are incestuous.

Hot New Democratic candidate, Lincoln Chafee would be better named Coolidge Chafee. He proposes adopting the metric system. Fear not, he doesn't have a half-kilogram of a chance.

Lindsay Graham says as president his White House would have "revolving" First Ladies for whom we can assume he would have absolutely no sexual attraction.  We have seen this before.

Let's be fair and say that Dennis Hastert is a good man. His favorite charity is The High School Wrestling Protection Fund.
How many Republican candidates are there now -- 36? All are positioning themselves to defeat Hillary. In 2016? No, in 2020.

The latest to throw his dunce cap into the ring: Rick Perry. He wears his emotions on his sleeve, along with the names of the cabinet departments he would shut down.

When Jeb Bush officially announces, his milking of the campaign cash cow will be limited. The longer Jeb waits, the more exhausted that poor cow gets.

Wow. $2 billion in social security checks were mailed to former Nazis living in the U.S. Will the checks stop when they die? Probably not. 

The TSA missed 78 out of 80 guns, knives and explosives carried on to planes. Your suspicion is correct. You are the only one who sets off the metal detector.
With George (Who?) Pataki's announcement for the presidency, campaign 2016 is finally taking shape. Pataki has an excellent shot at being President Carly Fiorina's Secretary of HUD.

Kudos to Rand Paul for admitting that he is a tree hugger. This, however, caused a steep decline of Republican Paul huggers.

And this from Rand Paul's new book "I Compost". It takes guts for a Republican to confess being openly environmentalist. Especially when consensual composting is still an abomination in the Bible Belt.

Another direct quote from Paul: "The Republican brand sucks." This is known as a gaffe. A gaffe is when a politician speaks the truth out loud by mistake.

This gaffe also makes it possible for Rand Paul to make history as the first Republican to be Keynote speaker at Democratic convention.

How about AG Loretta Lynch ordering a raid on that soccer executive committee meeting in Switzerland? No Navy Seals, no loss of life -- goal!

The committee is charged with wire fraud, racketeering, money laundering and disturbing Switzerland.

Don't those soccer officials know the rules of the game? You are not allowed to touch the bribe with your hands.

Why this sudden focus on the unethical side of soccer? Because pro football season doesn't start for three more months.

So sad. As the great game of soccer is deflated, Tom Brady said, "it wasn't me".

As Ireland prepares to vote on same sex marriages, I have this hunch that there are no straight leprechauns.

And what about Ireland's political party Sinn Fey?

Then, there's that beautiful old Irish song, "I'll Take You Home Again Eugene".

How much influence will the Catholic Church have on the referendum? Depends on how many priests come out. To vote, that is.

Congressman Jason Chaffetz asks, "what does it take to get fired from the Secret Service?" Here's a Top Ten list:

10) If, during an Inauguration, an agent wrestled the Chief Justice to the ground.
9) If an agent goes to work without his seeing eye dog.
8) If an agent needs a designated driver while going to a party.
7) if an agent ever used the president as a shield.
6) if his nickname in high school was "butthead".
5) if, when faced with a problem, the agent asked himself, "What would Laurel & Hardy do?"
4) If an agent ever paid a prostitute with his class ring from West Point.
3) If the agent was ever ejected from his church choir for singing, "99 bottles of beer on the wall".
2) if the agent ever returned fire at a 21-gun salute.
1) if the agent was ever caught listening to iTunes on his earpiece.

Encouraging news for the Republican candidates: Obama will not win in 2016, so you can stop running against him.

Michelle Obama cites a double-standard compared to past First Ladies regarding being ridiculed. Here's a two word rebuttal: Eleanor Roosevelt.

Defending his stratospheric speaking fees, Bill Clinton said, "I've got to pay the bills". Chelsea's student loans still not paid?

Under Great Britain's austerity, its army is reported to be the size it was in 1776! And I'll bet all those red coats still fit.

Memo to Tom Brady: Lose the goofy winter hat at the polygraph.