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  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen
  • Mark Russell
  • and Jay Leno
  • Art Buchwald, Chevy Chase and President Ford
  • Vivre la France
  • and Mort Sahl
  • and Woody Allen

A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds.  I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website.  We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing.  Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing.    I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.    

It turned out to be a perfect night.   My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time.    They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it.   A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

Latest Jokes

Congrats to Ted Cruz, the first Canadian-born candidate to win the Iowa Caucus. Ted has dual citizenship -- Canada and Pluto.

Marco Rubio made a stirring victory speech. An aide said, "when he's finished, somebody tell him he came in third."

Funny, I always thought of Trump as number two. In his speech he took the high road, a place he had never been before.

O'Malley and Santorum each wound up at one percent, thereby splitting the black vote in Iowa.

Jeb Bush encountered a nasty heckler who shouted, "get out of the race, you're finished." And Jeb said, "please, Mother, sit down."


Imagine the Iowa debate without Trump. Chris Christie becomes the lone gasbag. 

Jeb Bush's unleashed swagger will frighten his parents. 

John Kasich will finally get attention without him being naked. 

Ted Cruz will not have to wait his turn to spread bile.

 Fox News will have a yard sale.
BI'll Cosby and Donald Trump go into a bar where they find Sarah Palin.  Cosby gives Sarah a drink. When Sarah wakes up she endorses Trump.

Greetings all you rock and rollers and holy rollers and hands that rock the cradle!

These are words taken from Sarah Palin's speech endorsing Donald Trump -- a marriage made in Comedy Heaven.

This is Lady Macbeth endorsing Caligula.

And here is a true quote from a member of the British parliament: Mr. Trump is a dung-flinging monkey.

And it's still only January.
There should be no place in the 2016 campaign for the long ago scandals and bad behavior surrounding a presidential candidate. The American people are sick and tired of hearing about Chris Christie's sex life.

Exactly what sort of bomb North Korea exploded is in dispute. It was either a hydrogen bomb, an atomic bomb or they shot Kim Jung Munchkin out of a cannon.

Ted Cruz's excuse that he gave up his Canadian citizenship is not enough. He must pledge to put up a wall on the border and make the Canadians pay for it.

Mexican drug lord, "El Chapo" was apprehended last week and who knows? He might even still be in custody. His other alias is "El Escapo".
An exact science: Every time President Obama makes a public statement decrying gun violence, the opposition from Republicans is exactly the same as before and gun sales rise. Groundhog Day is a month early this year.

Gun deaths in the US remain higher than in any other developed country. Which makes you wonder if we are a developed country.

Trump joined the firing squad and took a day off from Bill Clinton's sex life: making America great again by trotting out Monica Lewinsky.

Meanwhile, out in Oregon, the armed crackpots continue to defend a wildlife refuge from an attack by chipmunks.


2016 Predictions

I predict that Bill Cosby will get a standing ovation at a Trump rally.

The science-denying Republican members of the House Science Committee will be named honorary members of the Flat Earth Society.

Hollywood will produce some warm and fuzzy Frank Capra type movies sympathetic to Muslims, including "It's a Wonderful Ramadan", "Lassie Goes to Mecca" and "Mr. Aziz Goes to Washington".

The toy gun manufacturers will come out with a toy Taser.

The Super Bowl will be won by the Washington Redskins. Native Americans will announce that they are fine with the name, after all.


This I believe: the hurricanes in Texas are punishment for Texas electing Ted Cruz.

Every time a police officer refrains from using his weapon, the result is less paperwork and the department saves on tear gas.

The federal budget is like the menu in a fancy restaurant. If you have to ask how much an item costs, you can't afford it.

Many obese people who smoke are poor. Many thin non-smokers are wealthy. They spend their tax cuts on a spa.

Was there ever any doubt that Trump would eventually bring up Monica Lewinsky? What about the torrid affair that Trump is having with himself?

Brilliant Turkish bank shot: shoot down a Russian plane, so hopefully it would crash into an ISIS compound.

Not having a draft maybe a good idea. If Millennials are drafted into the army, they would probably complain about having to get up so early in the morning.

This is a generation that wants a student deferment from hurt feelings.

The Republican campaign message: The world will respect America again once we elect an obnoxious New York bully.

The first Thanksgiving according to Trump: After the feast, the Muslims killed all the pilgrims.


After Paris, Washington went into lockdown. That's when terrorists cause a shut down -- filling in for Ted Cruz.

Trump says he will bomb the shit out of ISIS. But that's not enough. His people are demanding F-bombs.

Trump would drive out the illegals with a "deportation force". Will the force have uniforms? I'm thinking brown shirts.

The Syrians are coming! The Syrians are coming! Drain the moat! We are the US Association of Governors and we approve this message.


Names in the news: Jhadi John is dead. Daffy Donald and Bonkers Ben are very much alive.

The Republican establishment is trying to figure out how to take out Daffy and Bonkers.

This is difficult because Iowa and New Hampshire are drone-free zones.

Voters must decide whether Daffy and Bonkers should be allowed to possess sharp objects, let alone the nuclear codes.