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A Few More Notes from Mark Russell

So, okay. Retirement was fine. For two years. I traveled. I read books. It was fun.

Fifty years ago I promised myself that I would retire on the day that I would be required to write a song about trans-vaginal ultrasounds. I decided to unretire when I heard that member of Congress had been cavorting in the Sea of Galilee. How can you make that up?

So, I'm back to work. Shortly a schedule of public shows will be listed. Also a list of PBS Stations that we know will be carrying a 30-year retrospective of my work, entitled "Mark Russell's America" during October and/or November. As they say, you should check your local listings or call your local station for the date and time.

We'll continue to update the website. We're still trying to figure out getting songs up. But we're working on it.
Thanks for asking about me and thanks for all the kind messages about my retirement. You will all get a personal response. It just might take a bit longer than I would like.

Oh, and one more thing. Don't forget to vote -- if only to keep political humor alive!

A Note from Mark:

In 2010 I decided to stop performing. I had a show upcoming in July of that year, in one of my favorite venues, the Amphitheatre at Chautauqua Institution, and thought it would be a fine place to end 60 years of nearly non-stop performing and traveling.

It turned out to be a perfect night. My children and grandchildren who are scattered across the United States were in attendance, some of the grandchildren seeing me for the first time. They may still not understand what I did, but at least they saw me do it. A number of close friends, who were in the know that this would be my final show, also made the trek north from Washington, DC to Chautauqua, NY to join in this final evening.Read More

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People are chattering, texting and twittering 24-7 and they have the nerve to complain about privacy?

You can't sqawk about privacy when you make it so easy for the government to eavesdrop. "Hey, NSA -- CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?"

If you want complete privacy, please turn off all electronic devices and shut the hell up.

CIA vetting: "See if we can find a reclusive, disgruntled and slightly weird computer nerd with no experience and no high school diploma to handle top secret sensitive data. How about Edward Snowden?"

Republicans will charge that President Obama knew about the Oklahoma tornado six months ago

Senator Mitch McConnell: "Does the White House expect us to believe that Obama first heard about the tornado when it struck?"

Only Red States, Texas and Oklahoma have been targeted and Fox News wants to know why.

Hearings are scheduled before the House Committee on Twister-Bias. Mother Nature, a long time liberal activist has been subpoenaed to appear.

Today's word, boys and girls is "Benghazi". It is a Libyan word meaning, "dump Hillary".

Rising up from his undisclosed, secure dung heap, Dick Cheny calls for subpoening Hillary. Once you start one unnecessary war -- it's hard to stop.

Down in the War Room, Benghazi is referred to by its top secret code name: Operation 2016.

Let me be the first to reort that Mark Sanford is splitting up with his Argentinian mistress. He left her a note, saying, "I don't need you anymore."

Funny how Sanford's election turned out. The Bible says thou shalt not commit adultery. South Carolina says, "oh, go ahead -- it wouldn't hurt".

To Republicans, Obamacare islike an unwanted pregnancy. They want to get rid of it in 24 hours.

Plan B for seniors: Taking Metamucil instead of Milk of Magnesia.

The super-explosive movie, "Iron Man 3" is supposed to be escapist. I guess it's for people who aren't getting enough violence in real life.

Global disasters in the news too tame for you? Escape to "Iron Man 3".

Here in the home of the brave it seems the only things we fear are Gay Boy Scouts.

Obama to Syria's Assad: "Cross this red line and use chemical weapons and you'll be sorry." Assad crosses the red line. Obama: "Come on, cross it, I dare you. Think I'm bluffing? Ask the Iranians if I'm bluffing."

In the light of sequestered meat inspection -- America is using deadly weapons on its own people: chickens.

Air traffic controllers won't be furloughed after all. The decision was arrived at by a poll of members of Congress stranded at the airport. The vote was unanimous.

At the gala opening of the George W Bush Presidential Library, Iraq was in a no-fly zone. Nobody went there.

Let's keep the dynasty going. Y'all know Jeb Bush -- he'll beat all the others -- so let's nominate the smarter brother.

Following the Boston Masscre, President Obama said, "we are not Democrats and Republicans now, we are Americans." So how does he explain both parties lighting verbal pressure cookers under each other?

Representative Peter King: "The bomber is an enemy combatant."
Senator Dianne Feinstein: "No he isn't."
What's the difference? With King, the bomber will be found guilty in ten years. With Feinstein, five years.

We should apply the Miranda Rule to King and Feinstein: You both have the right to remain predictable.

The pols are stretching the situation to the immigration bill -- as people south of the border are saying, "Thank God the bomber isn't Mexican."

Iran: "Not one of ours."
Russia: "Good luck with him."

In divided America, if a man from a red state marries a woman from a blue state, will their children grow up to be purple?

At least the Boston Marathon Massacre happened before the Sequester Massacre kicked in, at which time there would have been fewer responders, fewer ambulances, fewer FBI personnel and a downsized homeland security.

When the over-the-top budget cuts take effect, we can announce to our adversaries, "come and get us -- we're not ready."

And the historians will say -- "poor America. She became very vulnerable but at least she had a balanced budget.

Balanced by the unbalanced.

North Korea's leader, the dangerous munchkin Kim Jong Cock-a-doodle-doo is playing with his nuclear toys again.

Little Kimmy is aiming them right at us. This calls for emergency national hand wringing. We're not used to dealing with weapons of mass destruction you can actually see. (Google Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Iraq)

Option Number One: Another war with North Korea. You know what they say -- everything old is new again.

Option Number Two: Round up all suspicious looking Americans of North Korean descent. Watch for anyone ordering Kimchee at McDonald's.

What if North Korea invades South Korea again? Do we rush in again? When the American Civil War broke out in 1861 did the Koreans rush over here and butt in?

North Koreans would never criticize their government. They wouldn't dare bite the hand that doesn't feed them.

During the recent Supreme Court arguments over marriage equality, my favorite sign outside the Court read: "Gay people have every right to be just as miserable as I make my husband."

Had I been there, my sign might have said: "If same-sex marriage is a threat to your marriage, what does that say about your marriage?"

Why do old people have more of a problem with marriage equality than young people? Simple. Not many old people watched "Will & Grace".

Marriage between a man and a woman is a sacred institution as defined in the Bible -- if you don't count the Old Testament concubines.

During the debate over the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) they left out the Defense of Hollywood Marriages Act (DOHMA). As the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor hovered over the chamber.

Prediction: DOMA will be repealed and Scalia and Thomas will just be close friends.

This month makes the third anniversary of the passage of the Affordable Care Act, known as Obamacare, designed to take effect around the fourth anniversary at which time we should know if it is affordable.

Passing it was the easy part. Now comes the hard part, explaining it. To be followed by the harder part, apologizing for it.

If you have any questions about the law your government has a handy five word response: We'll get back to you.

Sequester update: Government meat inspectors won't be laid off, after all. Our meat will be fresh while other federal programs including Head Start will be allowed to spoil.

The message to the poor is clear: If you go hungry the food you did without was safe to eat.